Thursday, April 25, 2013

The Loss of My Muse

Roscoe P. Coltrane  2000-2013

As a freelancer you take comfort in those who understand you.  You live a life of hermitage hunkered over your work all hours, morning, noon and night, sometimes not interacting with people for days on end.  Those who support your lifestyle and goals become immensely valuable.  If your lucky you have someone to share that with on the home front.  A companion to walk through the lonely stretches of time in a one person studio.  Dominick and I are fortunate to have each other and we were blessed to have another to be with us during these past 13 years.

Roscoe, Dominick and I at the Annual Boardwaddle Ocean City, NJ

Roscoe perfected the art of infiltrating photo shoots

"Helping" me pack artwork in the studio

For 13 years Roscoe, our basset hound, was our companion and fur child.  He lived a long spoiled life and was my sole inspiration and muse for many illustrations.  If it wasn't for him I never would have attempted to create a book based on animals.  He gave me so much pure inspiration and sparked a part of my imagination that I wouldn't have found on my own.

Playing dress up with Grandma

Our "Laptime" during morning coffee

This past month has been challenging with his newly diagnosed diabetes.  It was alot of trial with medications, scheduling and timing.  Leading up to the diagnosis was care giving to an unknown illness which took a toll on both his and our sleep.  Last Saturday morning he showed great signs of improvement with the new dosage and was back to his old self again.  For the first time in a long while he mustered enough energy to bark at the mailman so we knew we were on the right track with our administrations.

New Year's day in his new cardigan

His on going battle with our pesky laptop

We didn't expect to be traveling to the ER 6 hours later.  It was brutally fast.  I had done research on the breed and knew that "bloat" was a killer for bassets and was aware that it worked with extreme speed.  He was going into shock while Dom was driving and I knew this was going to be the end.  However, nothing can prepare you for the moment that every pet owner dreads.

Showing his saucy demeanor and spunky personality

His bone that he use to "accidentally" drop down the stairs as we tried to watch movies.

In the end I ran my finger up and down his age whitened snout as he always liked.  He use to close his eyes, head on my lap, and I would lull him to sleep this way until the sound of his snores forced us to turn up the TV.  This time the halting of breath replaced the snores.  Instead of lulling him to sleep I was lulling him into the unknown, letting him know that we were there and always would be there with him.

Roscoe and I napping

Visiting the farm he loved so much

Only time will be able to turn the feeling of monstrosity and guilt for making "that call" into fond memories of lap time and paw shaking.  It will be awhile until I can walk down the stairs and not expect him to be there on his bed.  It will be many months until we will open the front door and not habitually crane our necks to see over the sofa to find his sleepy eyes greeting us.

"Snooping" on the sofa with Dominick

Trolling through the Sunflowers and Blueberry bushes at Marshall's Farm Market

At the farm he would run down a hill into this green grassy mini valley and tear around like a little maniac.  It is a comfort to know that he now rests on the crest of that hill overlooking Dom's parent's house and that valley he loved so much.  His grave holds a yellow lily, irises and forget-me-nots along with a wooden cross kindly made by the Marshall's worker.  We surronded him with stones and placed a cairn on top of his grave.

His last paw print given to us by UPenn Vet Hospital on the night he passed away

Final resting place at the farm

Rest in peace my little man.  You will always be with us....behind our studio chairs, on the couch during morning coffee and waiting in the kitchen while we cook.  You will never leave us and the inspiration and unconditional love you gave us will remain lit forever.  We will miss you greatly.

Obi Wan Coltrain

For more pictures of our boy visit Dom's gallery and blog.

Our Buddy


Kitt said...

What a beautiful post to say goodbye to an incredible personality. It brought me to tears. Mordred and I will hold all three of you in the light.

The Art of Kim Kincaid said...

Oh Dom and Christina, so sorry to hear this news. What wonderful memories you have with him. Sending you two a big virtual hug. RIP Roscoe.

Tara Chang said...

Oh Christina - SO so sorry. He was so darling. It is so hard losing our furry friends. 'That' call that I had to make for our darling dog almost 2 years ago now still kind of haunts me, although there really was nothing else to be done. Feeling your loss and sending many virtual hugs your way...

Matt Stewart said...

Sorry about Roscoe, glad I got to meet him

Christina Hess said...

Thank you for your kind words. It's hard to say goodbye but it is inevitable. I will be painting him this summer so he will be immortalized forever. Thanks again.

Michelle Johnson-Weider said...

Christina, I'm not sure if the comment I posted went through or not. I'm so sorry to hear of your loss and I understand so well the pain and grief you are both feeling. Kirk and I both send our heartfelt condolences on the loss of your muse and friend, a great soul.

Ava Roxanne said...

So sorry for your loss, but thank you for sharing him with us. Your muse will love on in your amazing work. He will inspire you forever!I look forward to the completion of your lovely book that he so inspired you to complete.

Daria Veccia said...

I am so very sorry for your loss. Your words rang so ture to my own experiences with my beloved Sasha, a tri-clored tortie cat I was lucky to call my soul kitty for 20 1/2 years. She's been gone now for 4 years, but there are days that the pain is still raw. I force myself to recall fond memeories of funny stories, silly instances, and special moments that were just ours. I can tell from you words and your work that you truly understand what it means to have a soul dog or cat. I am happy you had that expereince, for not everyone meets that special pet, but so very sad for your loss. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

Farmer M said...

I am so sorry for your and Dom's loss..we lost our Schultz (our pound rescue) after 15 years. It is a very sad day when you lose a member of your family...Sending ((HUGS)) to you both!

Christina Hess said...

Thanks again everyone. It means alot to hear others who understand the impact of losing a furry kid.